I usually write these life updates in the comfort of my home. But today, things are different. I am currently sitting on a reclining chair next to my husband’s hospital bed.
We have been here for the last two days, and it has been a humbling experience, to say the least.
Dwight has been consulting at a hotel upstate New York for the last few months. He drove down to Atlanta two days ago. It was a long two-day drive, but it was uneventful. Nothing felt out of the ordinary when he made it home.
I made a festive dinner with chicken and mashed potatoes, and we enjoyed it together with a few glasses of wine. We went to bed as usual, with everything being normal. Or so I thought.
At 5:30 in the morning, I woke up to Dwight shaking uncontrollably in bed. At first, I thought he was having a nightmare. I tried to wake him but couldn’t stop him from shaking. His eyes were open, looking up at the ceiling with no sign of personality or focus.
Devastated and scared out of my mind, I called 911. Don’t get me wrong, I know things can always get worse, but what happened next was the worst thing I have ever experienced. He started having a violent seizure in front of my eyes. And when I say violent, I mean it.
His whole body shook uncontrollably, with bloody foam coming out of his mouth. It took about 45 very long seconds, and in the end, he was exhausted.
I, on the other hand, have never been more scared in my life.
The paramedics came and took him to the emergency room. We have been here ever since. So far, they have run every single brain and blood test you can imagine, and thankfully, everything is normal. 🧿
Come to find out, 10% of the population experience a seizure once in their lives. Since he hasn’t experienced another one, we hope this was a one-off thing that happened due to him being tired.
As I type this, we are waiting for the doctor to come and discharge us. Needless to say, we cannot wait to go home and get back to our lives.
To make things worse, coincidently, my sister-in-law also had a seizure (a few days before Dwight did) and is in the hospital on life support.
As you can imagine, it has been a humbling month. I am doing my best to keep my head high and let this time be what it is. I am grateful for where we are at the moment and hope and pray that things get better.
What Is Working?
They say it is important to find something to be thankful for in times of difficulty. Thankfully, I have many to be grateful for.
- A Thanksgiving to remember: As Dwight was up in NY, I celebrated Thanksgiving with my neighbors, Kathy and Liz. It was a wonderful day with great company and delicious food. On the blog front, we broke a record with the highest number of visits to the site. So many people used Foolproof Living as a resource to cook for family and friends.
- Business As Usual: I am beyond grateful for a business that allows me to take time off when life happens. Even though I was here and couldn’t work, my team continued to work on the site, and (knock on wood) things have been going smoothly.
- Our first Christmas tree in our new home: The last time we could put up a tree was in 2018 in Vermont. Between the pandemic and all the moving from VT to GA, we couldn’t manage to put up our Christmas tree. Since we do not have kids, it felt like a chore, but I made it a point to put it up this year. I have done most of my Christmas shopping with most of the items from my gift guide, and they are at home ready to be gift-wrapped. I hope we can get the heck out of this hospital today, and I can spend the rest of the weekend wrapping gifts.
What Is Not Working?
- Getting back to normal: As much as I want to go back home, I am scared to experience such a devastating thing again. We feel like we have done everything that needs to be done and are in good hands with the best doctors and nurses, but I need to actively work on finding comfort in normalcy.
- Social media: During this debacle, I didn’t feel like sharing everything that was happening on social media. And even though I had content prepared, I could not publish happy and fun recipes as we went through this difficult time. When life gets difficult, I struggle to define the line between real life and work. Do I publish a reel on Instagram that shows us being silly in the kitchen (and act like we are having the best time of our lives), or do I keep quiet? I decided to do the latter, but I’d be lying if I said that the fact that I didn’t keep up with my social media presence did not weigh on me.
I Leave You With This
They say when life happens to you, it is time to go inward and let it be. Resisting is not going to help. It is easier said than done, but after the paramedics took Dwight in an ambulance and I had to drive to the hospital alone, I decided it was time to put this into practice.
I recently took Jon Kabat-Zinn’s meditation course on Masterclass and found so much comfort in his Mountain Meditation. On the way to the hospital, I kept repeating to myself that I was “The mountain.” Whatever will happen will happen, and all I can do is live it and let it be.
I am sharing it below. If you meditate regularly, give it a try. It is one of my favorite meditations.
See you next month. All the best!
Go Back In Time
If you enjoy keeping up to date with us and similar life updates, here are a few more you can read:
Karen
I can,t even imagine how frightening this was for you.Prayers for your husband and sister in law and a speedy recovery.Sending you positive energy and a virtual hug.
Aysegul Sanford
Hi Karen,
Thanks so much for your sweet words. We truly appreciate the support.
Thankfully, we are in a much better place.
XO
Katie
I am so sorry this happened to you my friend and to hear about your sister-in-law. That seems so unfair. I am glad Dwight is feeling okay and he is, fingers crossed, headed home. Thank you for sharing the Mountain meditation and link to the master class. This is something I too am interested in learning about. I’ll be thinking of you and sending you good vibes!
Aysegul Sanford
Thanks so much Katie. We are in a much better place this morning. And yes, mountain meditation is a great way to be in the moment and appreciate where we are currently at in life.
Much love.
Christine
Such a scary experience! So sorry you both went through this and hope your poor hubby is on the mend soon! Sending hugs 🤗
Aysegul Sanford
Thank you Christine. We woke to a better day with a great amount of appreciation for our health. We appreciate your support and well wishes.
Sonja A
Oh my goodness, this sounds so terrifying and traumatizing for you both. Wishing your husband a healthy recovery and you healing as you process this complex experience. Thank you for sharing your vulnerability, as well as the meditation. I am sure so many of us will need it this holiday season. ❤️
Aysegul Sanford
I hope the Mountain meditation helps you as much as it helped me. Thank you SO much for all the love and support. Much love.
Alexandra H.
Such a frightening and worrisome ordeal! I’m relieved to hear your husband is on the mend and am hoping both he and your sister-in-law have a full recovery. Take care and wishing your the best for a happy and peaceful holiday season.
Aysegul Sanford
Thank you for all the well wishes Alexandra. We are praying for her wellness as well. Wish you a happy and peaceful holiday season as well.
Larissa
So sorry for this difficult time. We are dealing with some similar circumstances in my family, so wishing you the best. Take care.
Aysegul Sanford
Hi Larissa,
I am sorry to hear that you are dealing with a similar situation. I am sending you all the positive vibes. I hope things get better very very soon. Much love.
Michele
How frightening this must have been. Hoping you and Dwight will recover quickly. Blessings to you both.
Aysegul Sanford
Hi Michele,
We woke up to a better morning with a great amount of appreciation for our health. Thanks for the sweet note and all the support.
MaryAnn
Ice, please know that you both are in my prayers. I’m so sorry all this has happened. Thinking of you all and for a full recovery. ❤️
Aysegul Sanford
Thank you so much MaryAnn. I am grateful for the prayers and all the support.
Sharron Kropa
Hi Ice,
I was so sorry to hear about Dwight’s hospitalization. What a frightening experience for you both. I hope things are much better now and you are back home together.
Will be thinking of you both and wishing you happy, healthy days ahead.
Sharron
Aysegul Sanford
Hello Sharron,
We are in a much better place this morning. Thank you so much for all the support and prayers.
Norma
Hi Aysegul,
Just a note to say that I am sorry this happen to you and your husband. Hopefully it’s a one time thing. I have a friend whose husband went through the same thing a few years ago and he’s been fine ever since. Hopefully, by now you are both at home resting and enjoying the weekend.
I am praying for you both!
Norma
Aysegul Sanford
Hello Norma,
We are hoping that it is a one-off thing as well. Dwight is now extra careful with his day to day life. We both have a new appreciation for our health.
Thanks for the sweet note.
susan
So sorry to hear about Dwight’s health scare but am glad to hear he is on the mend. I always enjoy receiving your emails and recipes.
Best wishes to you both and Happy Holidays.
Aysegul Sanford
Thanks so much Susan. We woke up to a better morning today. Best wishes to you and yours as well.